Sugar and Steel Don't Mix
by Mistress Zelda
Summary: Brendan and May put 13 Pixy Stix in Steven Stone's coffee, this drives him into hyperactivity. Now they realized that they have created a monster. I can now say this...::COMPLETED::
1. Chapter 1

Zelda: Well, finally, a hyper Steven fan fic. Also note, I hate him.

Sugar and Steel Don't Mix

Chapter 1:

The Monster is Released

"Brendan! Get in here!" May was frustrated that Brendan was wasting the precious time that they had.

They had one shot at this, and they had to be as careful as possible. Operation: Make Steven hyper was now a go. Finally, Brendan entered the Champion Hall where May was waiting. From the looks of it, it didn't seem like it was the "Sacred Place" that they remembered. Now it looked like this was now the Pokemon League people's kitchen. Pathetic. They lived here.

"Yeah, yeah Glacia, I'll be there after I get my coffee…" May and Brendan knew that voice.

"Quickly! Behind that big machine thingy!" May hissed.

They both dove behind the machine; this followed the sound of doors opening. There was a loud yawn then the sound of liquid being poured into a mug. May looked at the man, unnatural grey hair for someone in his older teens through mid twenties. This was their man; Steven Stone.

"If we did this right," Brendan whispered. "There should be a scream in 5…4…3…2…1…"

Brendan was correct. There was a scream. "Holy crap! My room!"

Steven put down his mug and immediately ran out to inspect the scream.

May stood and ran to the counter where Steven's vulnerable coffee lay. "Okay, we have little time. You got the stuff?"

"Yup!" Brendan dove into his bag and pulled out a pack of, you guessed it, Pixy Stix.

As fast as they could, the two trainers tore of the tops and poured the sugary substance into the nasty brown liquid. Figuring thirteen of them was enough, May stirred the sugar in with the coffee. Fortunately, it didn't discolor the already discolored drink.

"Yeah, I'll help you with your room, Drake. Just give me a minute to finish my coffee!"

"Shoot!" Brendan hissed. "Hide!"

The two dove back behind the machine thingy and watched their plan in action. Steven took a sip from the mug, his face cringed. "That's one weird taste," he paused and then gave a sigh. "I normally don't do this but…" The idiot poured two spoonfuls of sugar into the drink. Brendan and May had control their laughter. He took another sip and his left eye twitched. "Ah! Whatever!" He chugged the whole thing down, but then he froze. "Wow, I've never felt so alive!" The steel trainer announced before skipping out of the room singing Another One Bites the Dust.

Brendan and May exchanged looks. "Brendan…what have we done?"

"I don't know but let's hope that he isn't released into other parts of Hoenn. That would be quite frightening. But for now, let's just watch."

The two exited the room and went down the stairs to Drake's room. They creaked open the door. Thankfully, the hyper steel trainer had just arrived so they didn't miss anything.

"Finally! Now I need you to…" The dragon master didn't have a chance to finish for Steven had suddenly obtained superhuman strength and lifted Drake over his head.

"Come Human Torch! We must protect the city from Dr. Doom! Flame on!" Steven tossed his first victim into the wall. Drake was immediately knocked out. "The city is saved from Dr. Doom once more! Thanks to the Fantastic Four!" The champion now dove through the doors that lead to Glacia.

They had no choice but to follow Steven's already destructive path. Again, their timing was perfect, he had just entered.

"Well finally! Here take this…." Once again, Steven interjected by locking arms with Glacia.

"Come Glacia! We must follow the yellow brick road so we can see the wizard!" Steven began to skip, dragging along the frightened ice trainer and singing We're Off to See the Wizard. Unfortunately for Glacia, her floor was quite slippery (ice trainers…) causing the utterly hyper champion to lose his balance and catapulted Glacia forward where she went flying through the doors and tumbling down the stairs. He actually really didn't notice at what he just did, so he continued to skip along happily, stepping on Glacia like a doormat.

Brendan and May rolled the passed out Glacia away from the door as they peered through to watch Steven's next attack.

Phoebe, the Ghost master, was meditating when Steven burst in. Her eyes opened to see him towering over her. "Er, can I help you…?"

"Yes, fair damsel! I shall taketh thee to chapel!"

Phoebe blinked. "…why?"

"'Tis our wedding day!"

"What?"

"Come dearest Phoebe! We mustn't keep our families awaiting our wed!"

The somewhat terrified trainer held up her hand. "Okay, one: I hate you. Two: Get out now or I'll kill you. And three: You have severe problems."

The steel master burst into tears. "But I love thee fair maiden! If thou cannot accept my love, I shall hurleth thee into a wall!"

Well he was true to his word. He picked up the poor, confused girl and chucked her into the wall. Done with this slow idiot...er…victim, the sugar possessed Steven went to the next room. May and Brendan hoped after this next attack that he would just pass out…nope. Bad assumption.

Sidney, the dark trainer, was a tough egg to crack. But the hyper Steven was like a five ton boulder. It didn't take long for his poking skills and disturbing complements that would make anyone uncomfortable got to the dark master.

"Okay," Brendan said. "Steven should pass out in about ten seconds."

Ten seconds passed. And Steven was still continuing to poke the now cursing Sidney.

"I thought you said that he would pass out!" May hissed.

"Hold on! Let me check!" Brendan suddenly pulled calculator and typed in random numbers. "Whoops, I at least thought he would pass out here or Victory Road, but, after some double checking. I found out that I was off. Way off. If he flies from outside of the Pokemon League, to Mossdeep and went from there on, he would eventually pass out near…our town!"

"What?" May exclaimed; both Sidney and Steven looked up.

"Shhh…" Brendan whispered. "Shut up! They'll hear you!"

"Argh! I can't take it anymore!" Sidney finally cracked and ran through the doors that lead to previous room, not noticing that he had just passed May and Brendan.

They looked at each other at first and then to check on Steven, but he wasn't there.

"Crap!" May cried. "We lost him!"

"We gotta catch up to him! The fate of Hoenn's sanity rests in our hands!"

May began to freak out. "Oh Brendan! I can't go on living like this, knowing that we created a monster!"

Brendan grabbed her shoulders and shook her violently. "Get a hold of yourself woman! We created it, we can destroy it!"

"And it will start after we get trench coats and Machine Guns!"

It was silent. "Why?"

May shrugged. "You know, like in the Matrix."

"Oh! I have those kinda things under my bed!"

"SUIT UP!" They both exclaimed.


	2. May and Brendan Go Matrixy!

Zelda: Okay, Chapter 2 is up and things are about to go crazy!

Brendan: Call me Mr. Anderson. (clicks Machine Gun)

Zelda: (blinks) Er…well I'm introducing another character too. Can you guess who he is?

Chapter 2:

May and Brendan Go Matrixy!

May and Brendan exited Brendan's house and put on their black sunglasses in unison. Then they brought up their Machine guns and loaded them.

"Where do you think he would go first?" May asked.

"Mossdeep, there's a lot of people there."

"But isn't it dangerous, not to mention illegal, to bring guns to towns?"

"May, it doesn't matter. The monster must be destroyed!"

The two hopped onto their flying Pokemon and flew to Mossdeep. As and they neared, they could hear screaming and cries for help. Yep. This was the place all right. But it was more chaotic then from what they thought. They concluded that Steven was in the Space Center, launching rockets that seemed to go off course and explode in the ocean, or on land.

"Brendan! We're too late!" May shouted in terror.

"Calm yourself woman! I am the one! The one who can stop him!"

"Wait, then what about me?"

"Oh you? You're just the person who I may need to use as bait at some point."

May growled. "Oh wow, thanks."

The two suicidal trainers entered the building where many people were screaming terror and running into walls.

"Where is he?" Brendan asked a frightened scientist.

"The beast is on the top floor, launching everything in sight!"

Cautiously, they ventured up the stairs to see the hideous grey haired fiend.

"Freeze, you swine!" May shouted, aiming her gun.

Steven turned to see the two trainers, who, I may add, were dressed in all black leather and had trench coats. "Friends! You have come to accompany me in the celebration of New Year's!"

"That's quite enough out of you, Mr. Stone! Prepare to die!" Brendan pulled the trigger of his gun and began to fire. Steven suddenly obtained amazing agility; he did the slow-mo Matrix dodging the bullet thing, and dove out the window.

"Argh! He got away!" Brendan said angrily.

"Yes, but his next target is Lilycove…"

**Meanwhile, in Lilycove…**

"Wow! This place is so much cooler than Orre!" said, everyone's dirty blonde haired, blue trench coat wearing guy. Wes!

"Isn't it romantic, Wes?" Rui sighed.

"You know, I hate you. I only brought you along because your grandfather is paying me."

"That's your excuse for everything!"

"Well, I'm paid to allow you to follow me around and point out the obvious."

"Oh Wes! You're so funny! Tee-hee!"

"Just shut-up before I tape your mouth shut."

Suddenly, there was a scream, and then someone shouting, "Come Robin! To the bat cave!"

This immediately came to Wes's attention. "What the….?"

They both ran over to where the noise came from to see the strangest thing they had ever saw. There was a young man with an unnatural grey hair color.

"Who's that? He's hot!" Rui squeaked.

Wes shook his head sadly and mumbled something about how much he hated Rui.

The grey haired psycho noticed them and walked over. The two froze in fear. Suddenly, the psychopath Steel trainer grabbed Wes's trench coat, put it on and, while running towards the ocean, screamed, "I'm superman!" Then dove into the ocean.

"No!" Wes yelled. "That coat is dry clean only!"

May and Brendan landed near Wes and Rui. "Stay back citizens. We wish not to hurt you." Brendan said, aiming his gun. "Say goodnight, crazy man."

"Stop! Don't hurt it!" Wes screamed.

"Who, Steven?" Brendan asked, confused.

"No! My trench coat! It's like family to me!"

Brendan stared at Wes for a few seconds then looked back at Steven. He wasn't there though. "I lost him!"

"There!" May shouted, pointing to the running Steven. He was trying to fly away by sadly flapping the trench coat. "He's going towards Fortree!"

"Then we'll just have to meet him there." Brendan said, mounting his flying Pokemon.

"Please! Allow me to come with you! I must protect my coat!" Wes shouted.

May blinked. "Er, fine. Get a flying Pokemon and follow us."

"Can I come, Wes?" Rui asked sweetly.

"No, this is personal, plus I hate you." Wes responded, releasing his flying Pokemon.

"Then what I'm supposed to do?"

"Go drown somewhere." Wes commanded his Pokemon to rise and follow Brendan and May.

Will Wes get his trench coat back? Will Rui kill herself? And will Brendan and May stop the Hyper Menace? Find out in the next Chapter!


	3. Steel Trainers Will Kill

Zelda: Yay! I'm back, and with another chapter! Oh and Disclaimer for all of you peoples out there that get the wrong idea. I do NOT own, Wes, Brendan, or Steven! Seriously people, just because I have 'em in my story doesn't mean I'm desperately in love with them. (shudders at the thought of owning Steven) Ew…

Chapter 3:

Why it is a Bad Idea to Live in Tree Houses…With Stoves…

The never-ending chase continued. Never-ending chaaaaase. Ah ah ah. Ah ah ah. Ah ah aaaaaah. Anyway, not even the Shuppets from Mt. Pyre nor the storms could stop the rampaging Steven. Those, poor unfortunate souls that couldn't move out of the way in time. You shall always be in our hearts. Eventually though, the Steel trainer, along with the three suicidal trainers, made it to the happy-go-lucky town of Fortree. Where Pokemon and humans lived side by side in the trees. Feh. Easy target…er…I mean poor unsuspecting people.

"Welcome, Wizards and Witches to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!" Steven announced upon entering.

The people stared at him for a second. These poor people were tricked by Steven's evil manipulating powers into thinking that he was a friend of Fortree, so, as their "cherished friend" shouted things from the Harry Potter movie, the easily fooled people of Fortree were quite confused.

Meanwhile, staking out over this awkward moment, Brendan, May and Wes were having a pleasant conversation.

"And that's how I hit Rui with my Motorcycle thingy." Wes finished the delightful story of Rui's 342nd death.

"Wow, Wes!" May said. "You can really tell stories! You put in every excruciating detail!"

"Yeah!" Brendan agreed. "I still like the one where you pushed her into that electric fence."

"Ah…good times…" Wes sighed.

"But, aren't there like a lot of fan fics with you and Rui together?" May asked.

"Yeah," Wes huffed. "And there are a lot of them with you and Brendan. I've also seen a few with you and Steven."

May almost fell of her flying Pokemon. "Ew! Disgusting! But, I've also seen one with you and some guy named Ein…"

"What?" Wes screamed. "That's…that guy is a…guy! I'm perfectly straight! I…" Suddenly, Wes's PDA went off. "Oh hold on, I got an email."

Wes opened the email. It read:

_Dear Suicidal Trainers,_

_If you wouldn't mind, PLEASE GET BACK ON TOPIC BEFORE I WRITE SOMETHING THAT CAN KILL ALL OF YOU! This is not the time to be discussing pairings, and gay people! Do that on your coffee break!_

_Sincerely,_

_The author of this fan fic_

_P.S. Wes, stop telling lies to these innocent Readers._

"Well!" Brendan piped up. "Let's see how Steven is doing shall we?"

Steven wasn't doing too much. Just discovering the Domino effect from cutting down one tree and it hitting another causing it to fall and so on.

"Oh, we didn't miss anything but a few deaths or so." May said. She pulled out a bag of Gummy Worms. "Who wants a worm?"

"Ooooo! The red and orange ones are my favorite!" Wes immediately yelled.

Bang! A wave of heat suddenly hit our off-topic "heroes", following a loud, "Oh my God that Steven guy just threw a bucket of gasoline on my stove!" All of them looked down to see one of the Fortree houses on fire and Steven throwing Wes's trench coat into the hungry flames.

"Noooo!" Wes screamed. "Why must you torture me so Ms. Author! I'm sorry!" He seemed to bow on his flying Pokemon. "I love you, master!"

Brendan blinked. "Whoa, did she write that?"

May shook her head. "I doubt it. I'm pretty sure he said that on his own. It's my first time working with this guy and I'm not enjoying it…"

Floof! Another house ignited. Then another and another until the whole town was in flames.

"Hello Dolly!" Steven screamed at the three trainers before skipping towards the next route.

"Well, there goes another place." May mumbled. "We need to get more serious with this. If he keeps this up, then we'll have to move to Orre, and that's were Wes lives!"

"You're right." Brendan responded. "But, Wes probably still wants to come with us. He probably wants revenge…" He gave a sigh. "C'mon Wes."

Wes had a blank expression; he was sucking thumb and slowly rocking back and forth saying, "Come and knock on our door, na na na na na na na…"

Meanwhile in Lilycove…

Rui was enjoying what was left of Lilycove. Who knew a hyper Steel Trainer could knock the Pokemon League, and destroy Mossdeep, Lilycove, and Fortree? Rui decided to check out the half bombed department store. She went up to the front desk where there was a lady, shaking madly.

"M-my life fl-flash before my eyes. I-I just h-had a n-near death experience," the lady was quite shocked that she almost had to experience a fiery death.

"That's great!" Rui squeaked cheerfully. "What floor are the dolls on?"

The lady didn't answer but she kept repeating the same sentence over and over. Steel Trainers, they want to kill us all. You know Jasmine in Johto? She's evil too. She's waiting for the right moment when the whole world thinks she's nice and cute. Then she'll burn down all of Olivine, and then maybe even all of Johto. That means no more Moo Moo Milk for you! That means no more Gold Berries or those Bug Catching Contests or that really weird guy that seems to have Pink hair. And you know what? That burning could cause Kanto to burn too! Then all of the Missingno that allow you to duplicate your Rare Candies will be gone. That's right. No more using Rare Candies to make your Pokemon completely indestructible for the Pokemon League!

Brendan: Whoa, calm down…

Zelda: Gasp…gasp…Oh…sorry…heh heh heh….So, uh, basically Rui found her own way to the dolls and Brendan, May, and Wes went to catch up to Steven who is still insanely hyper.

Brendan: (pats Zelda on the back) See? Now that wasn't so hard…


	4. Huzzah! A Blackout!

Zelda: (is really hyper from doing nothing all day but play Pokemon Stadium 2) Yay! I shalleth try to maketh this one a little better. If three certain people will cooperate…

Chapter 4:

Huzzah! A Blackout!

Ah yes, here we see the noble Steven Stone. Skipping his way to Mauville, the electricity city. But on his way he decided to stop at the Weather Station….

_A heartbreaking scene is shown. The Weather Station, in ashes and a cold drizzle put out the last tiny flames. Mothers are crying, memorial plaques are being placed around the ashness. Twenty seven people were killed, hundreds, who in fact weren't even near the place, injured. A young man looks at the plaque he had just set down sadly. He begins to lose it. He bangs his hands against the ground and then screams at the heavens, "I'll get you Steven Stone!"_

I'd really rather not get into the, uh, interesting details of that catastrophe. But I have to say there was my Fourth of July for the next ten years. Aside from that, the hyper steel trainer was basically skipping, and singing She Blinded Me with Science. Until he got to the Mimic Circle.

"Welcome!" a mimic trainer greeted the brainless, heartless, soulless, and…saneless…steel trainer.

"Don't use that back talk with me, sister!" Steven yelled, even though the trainer was obviously a male.

"What are you talking about, dude?" the trainer asked, beginning to back away.

"That's it little lady! You're grounded! Go to your room!" Steven, once again, obtained super strength, lifted up the screaming boy, carried him to the bridge, and chucked him into the waterfall.

The Mimic Trainers were awestruck at what they just saw. The trainers immediately ran for their lives, only to trip over one of those ledges and get a concussion. But, onward noble Steven! For your journey is not over!

Though, not too far away…

The three trainers stared in horror at the destruction of the Weather Station. Brendan looked at his two companions. "We can't let him continue to cause misery throughout Hoenn! May, Wes, no more Mr. Nice Peoples. We are going to take out Steven once and for all!"

"M-my…t-trench coat. She's….she's….gone!" The broken trainer Wes burst into tears. "And she couldn't even come to the family reunion!"

May rolled her eyes. "Dude, get over it. We have to go."

Our "heroes" began their journey to Mauville to stop the Hyper Menace.

Meanwhile, in Mauville…

Steven now positioned himself in the middle of the city. "I am El Nino!" He announced, immediately capturing everyone's attention. "All other tropical storms must bow before, El Nino. You soy El Nino for those of you who don't abla Espanol! El Nino is Spanish for…..the Nino."

Everyone froze to stare at Steven. Most people's eye twitched, other people coughed nervously.

Steven was silent for a few seconds. "…what? You don't like me? How dare you mock my intellect mortals! For that, I shalleth plagiarize thy Generator."

Wattson, the fat annoying gym leader of Mauville, actually took the time from all of his eating to look out the window and notice the hyper trainer. It took him a bit, with all his slow, undietness, but eventually he confronted Steven. "I shall not allow you to endanger my city, Wahahaha." Again with the unnecessary Wahahaha.

"Foolish mortal! I am invincible! Now, with my supersonic speed, I shall make haste to thy New Mauville!"

"No you won't, Wahahaha." With all the energy that the fat man had, he sent out his Manetric.

"Kitty!" Steven squealed, embracing the Manetric. "Oh it's adorable!" Unfortunately, his tight squeezing took all of the air out of the poor Manetric, causing it to pass out. "Aw, kitty's tired, here you go Strong Bad!" He hurled the knocked out Manetric at Wattson, causing the electric trainer to fall over, and he won't get up for about three days. "To Peasantry!"

Our three trainers were watching this whole scene in awe. "We have to stop him!" Brendan shouted. "Tally ho!"

May and Wes were befuddled at what Brendan had just said, but they followed. They noticed the steel trainer now entering new Mauville. Brendan and May loaded their Rocket Launchers and aimed at the entrance where they imagined Steven would be. "Astdalaviesta, baby!" Brendan shouted before firing. The fun thing about Rocket Launchers, at least in my Doom 1, 2, and 3, Quake, Far Cry, Unreal, and Painkiller experience, is that they kind of circle around where they're supposed to hit, or just plain miss. Which is pretty much what happened with May and Brendan's rocket. Brendan's rocket, made a large hole in the cave like shielding of New Mauville, and May's rocket, hit the generator directly causing all of New Mauville, except for the entrance, to explode. After a few moments of silence, out popped Steven as hyper and cheerful as ever.

"And Trogdor comes in the night!" he shouted, making his way towards the electricity-less Mauville.

"….oops….we missed…." Brendan said

"Oh well," May said, "From the looks of it, I'd say Steven's heading towards Fallarbor town. We gotta catch up to him."

"Wait, you guys are just gonna leave this city in total darkness?" Wes asked.

"Yep," May replied. "As long as we aren't blamed, then, whatever."

"Oh," Wes said. "Then let's go."

What is Steven's next plan of destruction? Find out next Chapter!


	5. What's With the Singing?

Zelda: This may be the last chapter for a little while. School is approaching and writing fan fics will NOT be easy this year. So, enjoy!

Chapter 5:

You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings?

In Verdanturf, a nice peaceful family sits down for dinner. A mother, a father, an older brother, and a young girl. At first, the dinner goes well, the young girl tells about school when suddenly the father realizes he needed to see something on T.V. When the father turned on the television, the Pokemon Trainer Search show immediately came on.

The host spoke. "Hello, I'm Gabby and we're live near the Desert. Today is another great day to search for powerful trainers. Oh, what's this?" The camera turned to a strange grey haired man, skipping. The host continued. "It seems someone has gotten in touch with their feminine side. Let's challenge this trainer. Oh Mr. Skipping Trainer!" The grey haired man stopped and looked at Gabby. "Would you care to ba-?

"Kellogg's Mini Swirls!" The grey haired screamed before charging towards the host.

Gabby blinked. "Uh, it seems that our trainer is a bit energetic."

This is when Steven magically pulled the Piko Piko Hammer out of the air and shouted, "I love you, Sonic!" Then begun to repeatedly whack Gabby over the head.

"Oh my God! Somebody help me! Oh, the agony! Ty, turn off the camera!" Gabby screamed bloody murder as Steven knocked her down and thwacked her in the stomach with the handle of the hammer.

There was a long monotonous beep and the screen went all Rainbowy. The family stared at the screen in pure horror.

In the Desert…

"We are all related in the circle of life, the circle of life, the circle of life…" Steven practically screamed as he danced along the path of the desert frightening the many trainers that saw him. May, Brendan, and Wes were right overhead, firing their machine guns like crazy but the sandstorm brought down their accuracy.

"This isn't working! We can't shoot at him in this storm!" Brendan hissed.

"Agreed, we have to try to get him in Fallarbor," May replied. "Because that's the only place where we can get a good shot at him."

The three decided to fly ahead so they wouldn't have to watch his destructive skip to the next town. But you know what? We're gonna follow him.

Let's see, where is he…aha! Steven skipped up to the old lady's rest house and dove in through the window. "We should like, totally French-braid your hair!"

The old woman looked up. "Hello, do you need to rest?"

"How dare you insult me! I shalleth now bury thee alive!" The steel trainer suddenly grabbed a shovel out of his magic, dimensional portal…er…thingy and begun to drag the old lady outside.

"I love the young people…" the old lady said as Steven was digging the hole. The old lady obviously was deaf and quite blind. That's why when you need to rest at her house you have to get a megaphone and scream your answer in her ear. The moral here? All trainers need megaphones.

Steven dumped the old woman in the hole and filled it. "You have been terminated!" he screamed, following the woman's burial.  
Next, he went to the ash route and crawled around in the ashy grass, dived out randomly to grab people's ankles, drag them back into the grass, and knock them out with two peanuts and a rubber band. D-…don't ask…I really don't know how he knocked out ten people….

Anyway…finally he arrived at Fallarbor Town, also where are "heroes" were keeping watch. This is a very quiet, vulnerable town filled with random scientists who give you a crappy Return TM for risking your life going up to Mount Chimney and battling the head of Team Magma. But, there is a certain elderly man who wonders around the town. Steven, of course being hyper, found this man, got on his knees, took his hands and sang, "Did you ever know that you're my hero? And everything I want to be?" He began to sing You Are the Wind Beneath My Wings. The old man was terrified that some grey haired freak was, what he thought, proposing to him.

"I'm sorry young lady, but I'm already married. But you look really good for a 70 year old…"

Funny story actually, when I first saw Steven I thought he was some freaky 70 year old that stalked my character. Then I realized Nintendo was better that. And…then I found of that the president of Devon was his dad. Do the math…

"He's proposing to an old guy?" Wes cried in astonishment.

"No you idiot!" Brendan yelled. "You go up to random people and sing that song to them. It's a prank and it scares people. Me and May have done that to people in Ordale Town."

May hesitated, but nodded. "It's fun. But don't we have something to do?"

Brendan grinned and aimed his gun at the proposing Steven and same with May. They both pulled the trigger and fired. Steven now realized he was getting shot at. So, he grabbed some random person walking by, and put them in front of his body like a shield. The poor defenseless person took all of the bullets and obviously died.

"Brendan, stop!" May screamed. "We're hurting innocent people!"

Brendan looked at her angrily, but he stopped shooting. "You do realize that this may be our one chance to finally get rid of him."

"Maybe, but we've already brought death and chaos to most of Hoenn."

"You know what?" Wes said. "I hate to say it, but I should've stayed with Rui. You all are causing a massacre!"

Brendan looked at him blankly. "…so?"

Wes shook his head sadly. "Whatever. I don't live here and as long as I'm not sued five years after this, I'll be happy. So, uh, where is he heading next?"

May watched Steven prance along the path. "Meteor Falls. He practically lives there…"

What will become of Hoenn now that May and Wes are starting to go soft? Who knows, but find out in the next random update!


	6. Prisoner of War!

Zelda: Finally! I have the time to write this!

Disclaimer: There are no pairings in this story! No May/Steven or May/Brendan!

Chapter 6:

Prisoner of War!

It began as the best-selling hyper, Pixy Stix Fan Fic of all time…er….not really. But still. A simple Champion wearing a weird suit quested his way into the hearts of bored readers. Now, for his greatest adventure yet, he will quest his way, into his own Hometown!

Steven: Where's my peanuts? TROOOOGDOOOR!

Trogdor music begins to play in the background. Cut to Mossdeep.

Brendan: We have coexisted with sanity in these lands for centuries. And I can't have you marching around in your weird suit upsetting the balance!

Steven: I'll upset your balance my lord!

Brendan: Steven Stone, you will not sass back at this council!

From the maker who brought you, Zelda Meets Pixy Stix, and Sonic Pixy Stix Insanity…

Steven: Easy now Wes, I'm just going to STEAL TRENCH COAT….

Wes: Aaaaaaah!

Cut to New Mauville.

May: Show me you're really hyper Steven Stone.

Steven: Plagiarize Generator! plagiarizes Generator

Brendan abruptly stepped in the middle of the scene. "Hey! This doesn't have anything to do with the story! Get back to the story!"

Sorry, jeez….Anyway, back to the story…

The three trainers were hovering, on their flying Pokemon, above the hyper Steel Trainer.

"Brendan, we need a plan." Wes said. "We have to distract him!"

"Yeah, you're right." Brendan replied. "But how are we gonna…do…that…."

The two guys both looked at May who was staring off, humming sweetly. She noticed their staring. "What?"

Brendan and Wes then looked at each other and smiled.

May was tied up, and the rope led to a fishing pole which the two guys were holding. "I hate you two!" she screamed, trying to break loose of rope.

"Its okay, May," Brendan said. "We're just going to lower you down to Steven. He'll grab you, and we'll pull you up and you'll be safe."

"And why me?" May asked angrily.

Wes answered. "One, you're a girl, and two, uh…

Brendan finished. "You're bait."

May began screaming swear words at the boys. The two lowered her down to Steven who was holding a poor defenseless trainer upside down and dipping their head in the water.

"Time for your bath!" He now noticed May dangling over his head. He dropped the trainer he was holding into the water. "May, my love! You hath returned to me!"

"I'm not your love!" May responded, her eyebrow twitching angrily.

"Remember who you are, Simba!" he screamed, glomping May.

Above them, Brendan and Wes were pulling like crazy. "This one's a keeper!" Brendan shouted.

Below the fishermen, Steven was pulling May with all his might. "I shalleth taketh thee to my father so he can approve of our wed!"

"I don't want to marry you!"

"Lady Phoebe didn't accept my proposal either! Thou shalt not deny me! Open your heart!" Using his hyper strength he broke May's ropes and began to run off with her over his head. Many people tried to stop the charging Steven, but, he used May as a battering ram and sent the people flying.

"Oh no! May! We've got to save her!" Brendan screamed.

"What? That's suicide, man!" Wes shrieked.

"We can't let him take advantage of her!"

Wes was silent for a few seconds. "Wait….what?"

"He has super natural hyper strength! And can kill her at any second!"

"Oh THAT'S what you mean, I thought you meant….you know…"

"Ew! Wes! This isn't an M story!"

"Well that's what I thought you meant!"

Perverts…anyway, let's get back to our damsel in distress…

"She won't be a damsel for long!" Steven shouted. "We're gonna get married! And have forty eight kids!"

That's it! No more nasty-ness! I shall now erase your minds of all the sick things you know!

"Come with me and we will see the Big Rock Candy Mountain!"

May blinked. "I think he means Meteor Falls. Hey Zelda, help me out here!"

Nope, I'm staying out of this Chapter. Okay, back to narrating. Steven was running through Meteor Falls when he found Maxie and some random Magmas standing near the waterfall.

"Er, any you guys gots a water type that knows waterfall?" Maxie asked.

"Maxie, what did we say about grammer?" A Magma replied.

"Me's sorry, me will try to prove in me grammer. But, any you guys got a Pokemon with Waterfall?"

The Magmas shook their heads. But Steven was standing directly behind Maxie with the struggling May in his arms. "Hello!" he screamed.

Maxie jumped, screamed like a little girl and turned around. "Who crap are you? Oh! You that steely man I foughts a lil' while ago."

"Your mother has a job and is a respected member of the society!" Steven shouted.

Maxie burst into tears. "It's true! Waaaaaaaa!

"One of the Magmas scolded Steven. "You made Maxie cry! You know he's in touch with his feminine side!"

"All of your faces are Michael Jackson!" Steven screamed.

The Magmas began crying. Bored with this awkward moment, Steven began charging for the exit of Meteor Falls. Oh and about the Magmas. Well, their sobbing was so loud that they caused the whole cave to shake and the stalactites hanging on the top of the cave fell and speared them all. Yay.

Away from that, Steven and May had just entered the City of Rustboro. Steven began singing and doing random dance moves. "There are no more potato chips left, in the empty bag in your hand. And the crumpling sound of the empty bag in your hand makes the mice get mad and when the mice get mad, it leads to a plan to eat the house and the plan's in the of the mouse in the woods and mouse has a smell that's detected by the nose at the end of the snout of the dog. And the dog has his head out the window of a car and the car is driving away from the tree and at the top of the tree there's a house and in the house there's a room and in the room there's a car and in the chair is yooooou!" At the end of this strange song, Steven threw May and she went flying into the Devon Corporation. And just her luck, she landed on Mr. Stone.

"May, what are you doing?" he screamed pushing her off.

"Erm, sorry but your son threw me in here…"

"May! Iseth thou okay?" Steven screamed, suddenly obtaining levitating skills and flying into the room.

"Steven, son, what….are you doing?" Mr. Stone asked.

"Silence! You killed my father!"

"Steven, I am your father…."

Steven fell to his knees. "Noooooo!" He now magically pulled out a Light Saber. "Die liar!"

With all his might, the hyper Champion sung the Light Saber at his own father. But unfortunately, Mr. Stone ducked and the saber went flying from Steven's hands because of the force. It flew across the room and landed on the floor. It then burned into the floor, fell through, and landed on a computer causing it to catch fire and spread.

"My company!" Mr. Stone screamed running downstairs.

"Steven, what have you done?" May screamed.

"I shall save you May!" Steven grabbed May and threw her out the window.

"May!" Brendan screamed, swooping down on his flying Pokemon. "Are you okay?"

"I was just tossed out of a window. How do you think I feel?"

"Well, quickly call out your flying Pokemon; we've got to get out of here!"

May did as she was told and Wes, her, and Brendan all flew to Petalburg, leaving the burning Rustboro behind. As they neared Petalburg, the three trainers looked at the setting sun.

"He'll be here by nightfall. We'll be prepared." Brendan said.

"And Steven comes, in the night…."


	7. Colorado, Petalburg, Same Difference

Zelda: Yes! I actually got time to write this! It's a miracle!

Chapter 7:

Petalburg, Colorado, Same Difference…

Archie and his "notorious" band of Aquas were marching to Petalburg. He was also trying to be an army general. "Left, right, left, right, left, right, right…right…left…right…uh…what comes after right?"

The Aquas were stumbling around because of their leader's orders. None of them could reply because about half of them collapsed on one another.

"Ah whatever. Look, we're here! Okay team. Prepare to blow up all of Colorado."

"Uh, sir." One Aqua spoke up. "This is Petalburg."

"Right, what did I say?"

"You said Colorado."

"What's Colorado?"

"I don't know sir…"

"Well look it up."

"Erm, sure…sir…"

As the Aquas were discussing this utterly irrelevant matter, along skipped Steven dragging with him three either dead or fainted trainers. He noticed the vulnerable Aquas, so he tossed the three bodies in Mr. Briney's house, where his "adorable" little Wingull devoured the flesh while its master had a heart attack.

"Hello!" Steven cried to the Aquas.

All of them turned around.

_14 minutes later…_

The group was divided up, girls on one side, boys on the other, and Steven and Archie in the middle.

Archie pointed at Steven, "I see a little silhouetto of a man." He sang.

All of the girls joined in, "Scaramouche, Scaramouche will you do the Fandango?"

Suddenly, every one of the Aquas sang loudly, "Thunderbolt and lightning! Very very frightening me!"

"Galileo!" One girl sang, very high.

"Galileo!" A guy echoed.

"Galileo!" (Girl)

"Galileo!" (Guy)

"Galileo Figaro!" Both sang.

"Magnifico!" All of the Aquas sang.

"I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me…" Steven sang.

"He's just a poor boy from a poor family; spare him his life from this monstrosity!" All of the Aquas sang.

"Easy come, easy go, will you let me go?" Steven sang.

"Bismillah!" The men sang. "No will not let you go!"

"Let him go!" The girls sang.

"Bismillah! We will not let you go!"

"Let him go!"

"Bismillah! We will not let you!"

"Let me go!" (Girls)

"Will not let you go!" (Men)

"Let me go!"

"Will not let you go!"

"Let me goooo! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

"Oh mamma mia, mamma mia!" Archie sang.

"Mamma mia let me go," all the Aquas sang. "Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me, for me, for meeeee!"

_Meanwhile, in Petalburg…_

Two kids entered the Petalburg Pokemon Center. One had long dirty blonde hair and had a black shirt with purple and black plaid capris. The other had dark fluffy wavy hair and wore a Full metal Alchemist shirt with jeans that had writing all over them.

"Erm, where are we?" the dirty blonde asked.

"I don't know," the Full metal shirt replied.

Their names are Akikami and Neb.

"Hey! Who gave you permission to introduce us?" Akikami screamed.

Um, Akikami, it's me. Zelda.

"Oh. Hi Zelda! Why are we in your story?"

Because I feel like it.

"I don't even know where I am!" Neb yelled angrily.

Just go with it! Anyway, Akikami and Neb sat at the glass tables that are usually in the Pokemon Centers for no absolute reason.

"Yay! Orange cushions!" Akikami squealed in delight.

Neb stared at Akikami as she was jumping on the cushions. Then finally, Neb got sick of it and hit her over the head with his Clarinet.

"Nooooo! All Clarinets shall burn! Mwahahaha!" Akikami laughed manically.

"Don't insult Sora and Riku!" Neb screamed.

"Dude, I can't believe you named your reeds…"

"You people hate me!" Neb slammed his head on the table.

Akikami pat Neb on the head. "So…uh…when is something fun gonna happen, Zel?" Akikami asked.

Now. Brendan burst into the Pokemon Center. "Everyone! Hide! He's coming!"

"Who?" Neb asked.

"Neb, haven't you being reading? Steven and the merry band of Aquas are coming."

"Actually it's just Steven, strange girl I have never seen before." Brendan said.

"All of you get out of here, now!" May screamed. All of the people in the Pokemon Center noticed May's gun and they screamed and ran around in circles, except Neb and Akikami who were eating sushi.

Suddenly, there was an explosion, followed by a shower of ceiling stuff. Steven dove into the Pokemon Center, still as hyper as ever. "We the people! In order to form a more perfect union! Established justice and insured domestic tranquility!" He screamed.

"Get him!" Brendan yelled pulling out his gun.

May and Brendan fired at Steven, who grabbed the nurse and used her as a shield. "Mwahaha! Mere mortals cannot penetrate my indestructible armor!"

"You're not wearing any armor!" Neb yelled.

Steven turned to Neb and lunged at him screaming, "I am Ansem! Give your heart to the darkness!"

Neb screamed and ran out of the building screaming, "You're evil Zelda! I'm out of this Fan fic!" Then he threw a piece of sushi at Steven, who dodged it, but unfortunately the sushi was possessed by demon penguins, hit some person, they died, and the demon penguin sushi took over their body. But enough of that.

Akikami was laughing at Neb as he was running out. Then Steven turned to her and screamed, "It's time to duel Pharaoh! For I am Marik Ishtah!" It was kinda weird because Steven's veins were popping out of his skin.

"Uh, you know what? I'm gonna go find Neb now. Leaving this Fan fic…"

Thanks Steven, you scared my friends.

"Noooo! The voices! I'M IN WAL-MART AGAIN!" Steven fell to the ground twitching.

"This is our chance May, let's shoot him." Brendan said.

May nodded, aimed her gun, and fired.

Suddenly, everything turned slow-mo and a rabid fan girl that proofed into this story dived in front of Steven screaming, "Nooooo!" took the bullet for him, literally.

Steven stood up, unaware that he was just shot at and a girl took a bullet for him. Then he skipped out of the town towards his new targets, Ordale and Littleroot. May, Wes, and Brendan, who were quite disappointed that they couldn't kill Steven, all followed him. But as soon as they left, the town was engulfed in flames. After the catastrophe, everyone in all of Hoenn and our world did the "Norman is dead" dance. Yeah for the death of a Gym Leader!

Zelda: Well guys, Sugar and Steel is reaching its final chapter. I will try to write this final chapter as soon as I can.


	8. Steven's Final Attack

Zelda: Wow, it's the final chapter of Sugar and Steel. And enjoy your time with Steven's hyper side, for I'm afraid he's gonna lock it up for a long time, along with his trust of May and Brendan. Also, there is going to be an added bonus. I sneak preview of my next Fan fic that should come out soon. Well, enjoy my friends!

Chapter 8:

Steven's Final Attack

Steven's hyper tanks were now reaching empty, but he still is the same hyper grey-haired freak that we all fell in love with right? Well, "love" isn't necessarily the word of choice but I was kinda in the mood. Anyway, Steven's mode of transportation was somewhat different this time. Instead of merrily skipping his way (whilst destroying everything in sight) to the next vulnerable town, he just so happened to find a weak trainer to manipulate. Going from town to town isn't the best on your feet, so he hopped on the back of this weak trainer and, riding him like a horse, galloped his way to Ordale Town, getting a few awkward stares along the way. When he reached the borders of this quant little town, he tied the trainer up against a tree, screamed, "You're the human wedgie!" and left him to be mauled by a pack of Mightyena. How nice.

Although nearby, Neb and Akikami who somehow sneaked into my story where by a small pond.

"That's the last time I'm following your instincts! We've been going in circles for the past hour!" Akikami screamed.

"Well, sorry! It was your idea to come here anyway!" Neb snapped.

"Great. We're stuck here."

It was silent. Then Neb said, "Wanna talk about Sora/Riku pairings? Or maybe Satoshi/Daisuke?"

Okay! What did I say in Chapter 3 and Chapter 6? No gay pairings or pervertedness!

Neb huffed. "Well if we don't talk about gay people, then you have to poison the water! POISON THE WATER NOW!"

That's it! Suddenly a Gyarados flew out of the water and ate Neb. Akikami laughed at this and threw Neb's Clarinet into the monstrous water Pokemon's mouth as well. But, immediately after it swallowed it, the Gyarados passed out with a terrible stomach

Though, unaware of their doom, the people of Ordale were presently getting ready for a nice peaceful sleep. A young boy, about the age of six, was slipping into his pajamas and his mom came in to tuck him in. The mother kissed the boy goodnight and closed the door just so a little ray of light could scare the monsters away from the boy. But, this little light didn't help this monster away. Just outside of the boy's window, the pointiest part of Steven's hair was lingering outside of the boy's window. This moment I thought could use the Jaws theme. So out of nowhere an orchestra formed and started playing the Jaws theme and Steven slowly advanced towards the boy's window. The boy rubbed his eyes and looked out the window to see where the music was coming from. Bad idea. As soon as the boy opened his window, Steven leaped in armed with a giant toothbrush.

"Did you brush your teeth before you went to bed?" Steven asked.

The young boy shook his head. How dumb can this kid be?

"Oh okay…FEAR THE WRATH OF ORAL HYGENE!" Steven began beating the child over the head with his toothbrush.

Immediately, the boy's mom ran in and saw her son being beaten by a crazed man with a toothbrush. "The apocalypse is here! In the form a toothbrush!" The woman screamed.

Everyone in Ordale heard the lady's cry and immediately started panicking. Some, pointed guns to their heads and died. Others drowned themselves in their own sink. Pitiful.

Many deaths were happening at this time, so May and Brendan fired their guns anyway. This only made it worse. More and more people actually began to think the apocalypse was here and they started killing themselves. Few got shot by May and Brendan. While all this was happening, Steven was tying the little boy to the giant toothbrush and then somehow made it combust into flames. But, the hyper steel trainer began feeling sick and tired. With as much hyper strength he had in him, he headed towards Littleroot.

Wes was watching May and Brendan cause a massacre, but he also noticed Steven stumbling his way towards Littleroot.

"Uh, guys?" He poked Brendan. "Steven…"

"What?" Brendan exclaimed looking to where Wes was pointing. "No! He's getting away! Wait…why is he holding his stomach and stumbling."

"The sugar side effect, you idiot," May growled. "After you get hyper, you get sick and pass out depending on how much you had and your personality. I personally think we should just let him pass out. Serves him right…"

And so that's what they did, and in a matter a minutes, Steven collapsed. And his last thought was on roast duck. We all know what roast duck tastes like right? Yeah, that's what he was thinking about, roast duck. Roast duck is cool. Actually, the funny thing is, I've never had roast duck. My mom says is greasy and to never try it. I bet it takes long to cook. Roast duck…

"GET ON WITH THE FREAKIN' STORY! I WANNA GO HOME!" Brendan yelled.

Alright fine.

_Two months later…_

There were voices in the room.

"Churros are awesome."

"No way! Foot loops are much better!"

"What are you talking about? Donuts are much cooler!"

Steven opened his eyes to find that he was in a hospital, with that nasty hospital smell. Oh yeah, you know that smell. "Where am I?" He stuttered. "And why do I have a headache?" He lifted up his head to see May, Brendan, and Wes.

"Wow, after two months, he awakens," May said.

"TWO MONTHS!" Steven exclaimed, regaining his energy and jumping out of the bed. "What the crap happened to me that made me go into a coma for two freakin' months?"

"Wow, Steven is ticked." Brendan responded. "Um, you got hyper, really hyper."

"What? I don't eat sugar!"

"Uh, yeah. We were kinda involved," May said.

Steven began shaking May violently. "What did you do? Tell me!"

At this moment, some random dude (let's call him Skyler) walked into the room…along with his Charizard that was in a pink apron holding a nice cooked breakfast.

All of them stared in disbelief. Steven let go of May and she fell over.

"What?" Skyler asked.

"Zelda!" Steven yelled. "Some random kid snuck in here!"

Huh? What? Hey! Skyler! Who the crap gave you permission to come here?

"Hey! You said I could!"

Um, that was sarcasm! SARCASM! GET OUT!

"Fine!" Skyler opened the window. "But this story is screwed up!" And out he jumped…out of a window seven stories up. Idiot.

Hey! You get out of here too Pinky!

The Charizard sighed and left this story too, mumbling, "Darn Skyler. Gonna kill him…"

May wiggled her way back into her position that she was in before we were so rudely interrupted. "Uh, Steven, about the sugar thing…we kinda poured thirteen pixy stix into your coffee…"

"WHAT!" Steven exclaimed. "You fools! I can't eat that much sugar! I can cause a massacre! Why do you think Orre is a desert?"

"That was you?" Wes screamed. "We are parched everyday because of you! You little bi-

Because of Wes's intolerable language, he was taken out of the story.

"Uh…well…what did I do while I was hyper?" Let's all thank Steven for improving.

"Well," Brendan started. "You put each of the Elite Four members in the hospital and/or Solitary Confinement, you blew up Mossdeep, blew up Lilycove, burned down Fortree, plagiarized the generator in New Mauville (Steven blinked at this), caused both Maxie and Archie to vanish, burned down your dad's company, and caused everyone in Ordale Town to commit suicide because you beat up a five year old with a toothbrush. And that's a summary of it; you did much more…"

Steven was in awe for a few minutes, and then he said, "Well, at least we're not dead!"

May, Brendan, and Steven all laughed like a happy family at the end of a sitcom. But, a doctor broke this happy moment.

"Steven Stone?" The doctor asked.

"Yes?"

"We have some bad news, your grandfather just died. So sorry." Then the doctor left, merrily skipping down the hall.

Steven fell to his knees screaming, "Nooo!" While May and Brendan began to laugh again.

**And they all lived happily ever after…in debt…and jail…**

Special Sneak Preview of Pokemon Pairings Parodies!

_A young boy was helping his mother string wet clothes on laundry strings._

"_Don't forget to pin your underwear neatly, Johnny," The boy's mother said._

"_I won't, mommy," the boy replied._

_Meanwhile, very nearby, Lance, Steven, and Wallace were watching the phenomena of stringing laundry. Until Steven noticed the little boy hanging underwear._

_He ran up and snatched the item of clothing from the boy's hands, "What is this?" Steven exclaimed._

"_Underwear, sir. Spiderman underwear," the boy answered, scared._

"_Do you know that young children are starving in Hungary and you are wasting this perfectly delicious piece of food?"_

"_Underwear…isn't food…"_

"_Oh and look who thinks he's a clever Dan! Well you just waste your food little missy and see how the Hungarians feel!"_

_Lance and Wallace dragged Steven away from this boy. _

"_Steven!" Wallace yelled. "You can't scare little girls like that! Wait for them to grow up a little and then you can really scare them. Heh heh heh…" Wallace's mind began filling with disturbing images. _

"_You all are crazy!" Lance stopped dragging Steven and pulled out a Pokeball. "I'm out of here! Come out Dragonite!" Instead of a 7 foot dragon popping out, a note came instead, "Out to Lunch. Back in 20." _

"_What?" Steven screamed. "The author allows us lunch at 1:30! It's 12:15! Are all of our Pokemon gone?" Steven threw out his Metagross…which was a piece of paper instead of a 10 ton…thing…_

_Wallace threw out his Luvdisc, which was two pieces of paper instead of a hideous heart shaped fish. One of the papers was just plain but the other was pink and lacy. Wallace blushed. "Oops…"_

"_Wait, what is this?" Lance opened the paper and read it. Then he rolled his eyes. "Wallace…YOU'RE HITTING ON THE AUTHOR?"_

"_Lance, get used to it," Steven said. "Wallace hits on every girl, more than once if I may add."_

_Wallace snatched back the letter. "You know what I always say; if agirl turns you down, try and try again until she calls the police, then try two months later."_

_Lance sighed. "Ah, nothing says I love you like being dragged away in chains."_

Well there it is. That should come up around the end of this month or sometime in November. I'll have more on it soon.


End file.
